Happy 4th Birthday to my Bubby Bear

Update on Me.

Things happened Oct 8th at 300pm. It was before my ultrasound.
To me I almost felt instant relief...I felt like I was ready to move on and over the initial emotion of it. After 24 hrs straight of crying, I was able to accept that it just wasnt meant to be.
I am still very sad of course, but am happy to know that I can truly heal now.....

The US showed the baby was not in the tubes. That is why I went for it.
My dr. knows I started to miscarry so she relaxed (a bit) about me going away.
She doesnt think its a good idea.
I told her if by monday things are not looking up I will go to the ER. The last thing I need is a cancelled trip!!!

I was early enough on that things should bounce back to normal soon. And once again we will let nature take its course. I was not far enough along to cause any issues that would prevent me from TTC for a few months...so thats a good thing.

So whatever God has planned for me, I am ok with that. I really want another baby, so I hope we can have a good, strong healthy pregnancy some time in the near future when its meant to be....

The worst part was the kids new I was pregnant. I have learned that next time I am not telling them until I am past the scary part.
James cried when I told him and Arianna asked questions.
I told them the baby was not healthy and able to grow. And said we would have another one soon. Just left it at that.
Arianna told me maybe if I ate healthy the baby would grow back...lol...

And that is all I have heard since....

So now we move on. I am working my last night shift until the 27th.
I am looking forward to sunday as its James birthday and thanksgiving dinner. mmmm
Monday I am cooking a turkey dinner for brandon as he is missing sundays.
Then its time for fun in the sun. I saw a temp of 27 in anaheim on tuesday. sweeeeet!!!

Thanks for all the kind works and support. It is amazing how people come out to support you in true time of need. All the words really helped me through. Thanks sooooo much

XOXO

Very Sad

I had yet to announce, but we were expecting our third baby.
I found out today, I will be miscarrying. My HCG level did not go up, it dropped by 8. It is a waiting game now.
I am going for an US to check things out. Not sure why is necessary.... And a repeat blood test to confirm.
I am devestated to say the least.
It is so hard sitting here, waiting for such a terrible thing to happen.
At this point I need it to, so I can move on and heal.
We leave for vacation soon. And my dr. did not want me to go in case things go sour. So pray things pass quickly.
This is why I did not want to make it public until I was further along...
but I reach out in support now during this very sad time.
I cried most the day, and had to come to work for a night shift. I am here now, and its been tears on and off all night. Only 2 people at work knew, so I have not shared further.
I really wanted this baby. The timing was just right.
If any miracle happens tomorrow at the US I will share. otherwise keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
Love Andrea

Killer Cold

I have been suffering for a week with a killer sinus cold. I have not been able to sleep at night...the head pounds too much. THANK goodness I had the week off work.
I was supposed to get my wisdom teeth out, but it was more complicated then we thought, and for other reasons it has been put off.

I start my shifts on my own at delta on sunday. I am a little nervous. I hope I do ok lol.
I am more excited to go on vacation lol.
the kids still do not know and we are not going to tell them. I cannot wait to see their faces. :)
I am excited that disneyland will be all decorated for halloween!
We got a suite on the cruise ship. so there will be enough room..and a balcony to sit on!! Thats where brandon is going to sleep ;) The countdown is on. 10 days!! eeeeeeeeek

Other things are going on here...but I am going to wait a bit to talk about them :) Oh no...secrets lol